Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

[manawatuman]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Alright, Mana, I can overly think these things at times. Sorry to have had to pry, but at least now you're pretty well vetted on CF. You also got game to be such a good sport through all of the questions and the life stories from the other posters. I wish you well on your upcoming cruise. There are some single ladies on this site, so ya never know, and you seem like a nice catch Let us know if you get lucky on the dating/crew sites, as well. That info might come in handy for the others here!

No worries Gamayun, i really believe the Internet dating is flawed and reversed , hence unatural. So im giving up on that style.

Im use to meeting a girl, a stranger, in bar or at a party for example. Eyes across the room or the cheesy intro line. Having the instant attraction on fresh new ground without insight or preconceived expectations. We introduce each other and away we run to explore each others personalities, quirks, past and dreams and dare I say, bodies. Lovely natural fun experience! Most of the time...

On-line, a person youve never met asks every possible question, as a job interview, vetting the chaf with a unpersonable finger on the delete botton.
If one passes through the dozens of other applications and manages to secure a meeting in a safe predetermined place. Eyes across the room and the cheesy intro line are redundant here, the spark is snuffed. We've learnt too much of whats irrelevant about each other and based our future on it. Icky icky business. ..

Book by its cover, horse b4 cart etc. anyway thats my $5.56 worth [emoji189]

[Blue Crab]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIaH2qj9LZM

[gamayun]

Yep, and sometimes it does work just like the movies.

[Blue Crab]

I'll buy into guys feeling lust at first sight but women are smarter than that. One of the many lessons learned is that while men are sleeping, women are planing and plotting. And when they're not asleep, they're talking, amirite?

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I'll buy into guys feeling lust at first sight but women are smarter than that. One of the many lessons learned is that while men are sleeping, women are planing and plotting. And when they're not asleep, they're talking, amirite?

Naw, we can be all dumb and lusty, too, at times

[ErikFinn]

What would life be without some lusty eh? And I'm already dumb, having a boat proves it.

Lusty - definition of lusty by The Free Dictionary
www​.thefreedictionary.com/ lusty
passionate - having or expressing strong emotions. 2.
lusty - endowed with or exhibiting great bodily or mental health; "a hearty glow of health" red-blooded, full-blooded, hearty. healthy - having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease; "a rosy healthy baby"; "staying fit and healthy ...

[weavis]

So.

There is a local Social club near my clinic. A restaurant/bar with lots of members. Lots of families, women men and kids.

There is one attractive and well respected 55 year old female, of pleasant looks and attractive body. Given the Spanish proclivity for match making, we have been steered together.

The night.

Sat next to each other at the bar, where pleasant conversation ensued. Family members (hers) came and said hello, some talk of things we know etc.... She told me she was free of a 30 year marriage and perhaps had 20 years left so was going to enjoy them with a little beer and wine etc.

Well she proceeded to do so. Then the photos came out of the grandkids, etc.

She was wobbly at this stage.

I had that feeling of time I could never get back.

Sad really. But we are who we are and I wish her happiness and luck in finding someone who appreciates her grandkids more than I do. I look at them as different sized anchors.

There is a reality in life that both sexes have to understand and deal with individually. Every woman who has children is really saying that every man that dates them will have to understand that they have people that they will always love more than the man. That goes doubly for grandkids.

I dont do well in that atmosphere.

Know yourself and the time wasted will be much shorter in the dating.

[In Training]

Wow -- Weavis

Dump all women in the same category much!

And you probably wonder what's wrong.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by In Training

Wow -- Weavis

Dump all women in the same category much!

And you probably wonder what's wrong.

Its not dumping all women in the same category. Its a reality of life. Women with children place their childs welfare above their own wellbeing and happiness.

Its the natural way. My mother would do anything for us kids and if she was ever single she would not risk our happiness for her own. It is a rare female who would change her life and miss out on the growing years of her childrens children.

We are talking boating here. Getting on a boat and moving away for extended periods of time. Its a lot to ask for a family person.

[weavis]

You will also find, it is the common complaint of married sailors that once the grand children came along, the planned for cruise is put on hold.

To find a partner is difficult, to add family in the mix is compounding the situation.

To be a sailor and live on a boat is not really the norm. Accepting who we are and what we want at 50 plus is the start, and then finding the person that is willing to share that is the next step.

I dont really go out of my way to look these days. I take each encounter as it comes but with knowledge of the realities of life..... and take into account whether they would be happy away from their kids and grandkids.... So far the answer is no... That is why a lot of 50 + guys date younger women with no attachments.... and that is a whole another scenario


Ce le vie.

[manawatuman]

Originally Posted by weavis

Its not dumping all women in the same category. Its a reality of life. Women with children place their childs welfare above their own wellbeing and happiness.

Its the natural way. My mother would do anything for us kids and if she was ever single she would not risk our happiness for her own. It is a rare female who would change her life and miss out on the growing years of her childrens children.

We are talking boating here. Getting on a boat and moving away for extended periods of time. Its a lot to ask for a family person.

Yes ive noticed many women on date sites say their kids come first and are their everything. Unwilling to flex for a partner. Leaving the man to feel second place at best.
But then the kids are grown in 10 to 15 yrs leaving the woman old and alone in many cases.
They cant see the long game where the adults raise the children as a couple, children leave the nest, couple grow old together and go sailing, this is a sailing site of course .
Most people live 75yrs and to base ones whole life on10 to 15 yr child raising period seems short sighted.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by manawatuman

Yes ive noticed many women on date sites say their kids come first and are their everything. Unwilling to flex for a partner. Leaving the man to feel second place at best.
But then the kids are grown in 10 to 15 yrs leaving the woman old and alone in many cases.
They cant see the long game where the adults raise the children as a couple, children leave the nest, couple grow old together and go sailing, this is a sailing site of course .
Most people live 75yrs and to base ones whole life on10 to 15 yr child raising period seems short sighted.

One of the realities of dating is to ACCEPT what is stated and stay or move on.

I dont see it as selfish on either side. It is what it is.

If its not what you want, Dont stay and get emotionally involved. Ive done that. It hurts more in the leaving when opposite desires collide. You end up having a love for someone that cannot ever work out.

I dont question a womans commitment to her children or grand children. I see it as a red flag in terms of a relationship with ME but not for another.

My needs are met by me not by a woman. A woman completes a males happiness and gives a sense of purpose to life and it all. I have felt that a couple of times and it was wonderful. I have not much clue to what a woman gets from a man but in a good relationship, the women I know express happiness and security with their partner.

That is why I stress NOT to try and change who a woman is and know yourself and what you will accept and not accept in your life. Its not going to end pleasantly or happily if you force an issue to MAKE it work.

I have many female colleagues and friends and treat them with respect and dignity. Over the years a few have expressed interest in pursuing a relationship with me and I have to balance everything. Some have been married and want out of their situation, for me that is a no no. Some were not looking at reality.

Living on a boat does really narrow the options. Are you prepared to give up that life? If not then look within the sailing fraternity. It really does clear the decks. On the other hand, the woman who you are looking at and is looking at you will be independent, self motivated and capable. She may not be willing to give up on what she has or share.... that is step two.

I like catamarans and prefer life on them. A sailing woman with a boat probably has a mono. Yes, it can be an issue.

Im going back to social club tonight to enjoy a dinner and will probably see the woman there. I think she knows there was no spark and I hope she is mature enough to accept friendship as the only option. It is not a rejection of her, just of a relationship.

We chose the life we lead.

[manawatuman]

Originally Posted by weavis

One of the realities of dating is to ACCEPT what is stated and stay or move on.

I dont see it as selfish on either side. It is what it is.

If its not what you want, Dont stay and get emotionally involved. Ive done that. It hurts more in the leaving when opposite desires collide. You end up having a love for someone that cannot ever work out.

I dont question a womans commitment to her children or grand children. I see it as a red flag in terms of a relationship with ME but not for another.

My needs are met by me not by a woman. A woman completes a males happiness and gives a sense of purpose to life and it all. I have felt that a couple of times and it was wonderful. I have not much clue to what a woman gets from a man but in a good relationship, the women I know express happiness and security with their partner.

That is why I stress NOT to try and change who a woman is and know yourself and what you will accept and not accept in your life. Its not going to end pleasantly or happily if you force an issue to MAKE it work.

I have many female colleagues and friends and treat them with respect and dignity. Over the years a few have expressed interest in pursuing a relationship with me and I have to balance everything. Some have been married and want out of their situation, for me that is a no no. Some were not looking at reality.

Living on a boat does really narrow the options. Are you prepared to give up that life? If not then look within the sailing fraternity. It really does clear the decks. On the other hand, the woman who you are looking at and is looking at you will be independent, self motivated and capable. She may not be willing to give up on what she has or share.... that is step two.

I like catamarans and prefer life on them. A sailing woman with a boat probably has a mono. Yes, it can be an issue.

Im going back to social club tonight to enjoy a dinner and will probably see the woman there. I think she knows there was no spark and I hope she is mature enough to accept friendship as the only option. It is not a rejection of her, just of a relationship.

We chose the life we lead.

Well said oh wise one.

[weavis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn9bAvWS4RU

[hsi88]

Wow, what a read. I moved back to my home town a few years ago after living in suburban Northern VA for the last 35+ years (2 wives and 3 kids later). I'm still only about an hour from the boat. I work remote so I can work here at the house or from the boat. Not a bad arrangement and still make the same money I made in the DC area.

Finding women to go out with in a small town is not difficult. Being well travelled and way more educated than the rednecks around here sure helps. Their only possessions include a pickup truck and an arsenal of guns. Not much competition!

The women are nice. Especially the educated school teachers and nurses. The rest are waitresses or they work at local businesses. But as already mentioned, its hard to find one that wants to sail. They have pets, or grand kids, or do crafts (in a big way). Most have never left the town. They get anxious when you hit the state line.

Another issue is lifestyle. Many women I meet live by a schedule and like to plan what they accomplish everyday. I don't really mind this, but my own schedule is extremely flexible. I may decide to wake up in the middle of the night to work on something. Or first thing in the morning. After spending a lifetime on a schedule at work, I enjoy the new found freedom to do things when I feel like it. I am still responsible and do what has to be done on time, but don't like living that way anymore if I can help it. I also enjoy afternoon naps. Hard to find someone that can just close their eyes and sleep like I can. Or can wake up after only an hour and feel fully refreshed. My ex wife resents it because she is always tired.

I like independent woman that are intelligent and can take care of themselves, but by the time they are 50, they are so beaten down by society and the men they have been with, they become bitter and cynical. They have problems with jokes because they have too often been the butt of the jokes, so are always a little tense and testy. Just in general, its harder than ever to find someone that is a "cup half full" type of person. Just look at the grumpy people on this forum.

I run into nice women, many I already know from the past and enjoy new "relationships", but don't go looking for them. As interesting as I feel my life has been, I'm bored to death telling the same stories over and over. I would rather generate some new adventures. But finding someone to share them with is a struggle. So I have decided to enjoy myself. I will be seeking out old friends and hooking up for laughs and camaraderie. If I stumble across a soul mate, cool, but if not, the time won't be wasted.