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Old 24-10-2016, 09:33   #46
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by alctel View Post
I don't feel as strongly as you do about this, but it IS annoying everytime I or anyone else ask a question about single-handing there is a bunch of 'why don't you find a first mate?!' type responses

expressing the universal reaction to our sola-ing.
where is your husband? boyfriend? boat owner?? oh yeah, hay i am boat owner-- oh> did your husband pick it out for you>> get with it folks... dont need a guy to dick tate his desires onto us.
women also have thoughts and likes. we also have dislikes. as many as you loudmouthed sexist males looking for deck fluff then whining when she cannot do anything on board--you have protected her from having to learn, until your heart attack kills you and leaves her alone on the water without having been allowed to learn the boats systems!!! you forget or have yet to understand that women are not field animals expected not to think. nor are all women wearing comfortable shoes dikes, as you so demeaningly call them---women wearing comfortable shoes are nurses, sailors, all manner of heterosexual beings, of a female nature, complete with brains and feelings and capability and strength-- as we probably possess more strength than you sexist whiners, you have a rage of envy within you that presents in a most ugly manner--belittlement and demeaning of the object of your jealousy.
and you wonder where the available sailing females are. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. wonder no more.
we are watching as you reveal your true selves in front of us.
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:01   #47
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pirate Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Mark, that is an unusual post.
I hope you do not think I was belittling anyone?
What I was saying was if there are many "normal" Women who say the only single Men that are available are undesirable, and many Men saying the same about Women, well that doesn't add up.

Possibly people are expecting too much?
Take me for instance so I don't belittle anyone else other than myself, but if I were single, it's likely that the kind of Women I would be attracted to, would not be attracted to me.
I'd be chasing Women out of my league so to speak, I'm sure.
Could just be as simple as 2 Alpha's can't cut it.. solo sailing is an expression of independence.. by both male and female.
I've met quite a few guys who thought buying a sailboat was a pathway to loadsa women and easy sex.. Uhuh... Noooooooo...!!!
Mind.. they don't last long and soon dump the boat somewhere along the way.
Single women I find don't solo looking for a mate.. there's much easier ways to get a man.. lets face it.. they're not the 'Headless Chickens' running all over hoping for a 'YES..!!!'
The problem with a strong independent streak is.. sooner or later one or other in a couple gets possessive/oppressive... and the fuse is lit.. the length of that fuse varies depending on the individual..
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:01   #48
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pirate Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

I think it's a numbers game. Yes, there are 7+ Billion potential sailors to meet but ya start paring that down to opposite (usually) genders, take out the kids and really elderly people, drop the people who don't live in coastal areas around the globe, people with less than yer own IQ (and realize honestly that the folks with bigger numbers aren't looking for you), the sick or disabled, can't swim, scratch off folks with ethnicity or similar concerns ... what's left is a much smaller number of potential datable/matables.

Then you've got all the geography issues.

And beyond it all, the now-tiny pool of potentials includes the attractive to the not so much (a busy two-way street), then the things-in-common issues, the deal-breakers, the scary unknowns ... it's a jungle out there.

My take is a seeker is left with a pool so small that the interested parties are so few as to be meetable at boating social websites like CF and SN. SA is off limits to folks who insist on being nice, and is populated with drunks, druggies and worse.

The good news for the OP and the like is that you've come to the right place. The folks here ARE your potential pool of possibilities.

That's the bad news too.
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:12   #49
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by Blue Crab View Post
I think it's a numbers game. Yes, there are 7+ Billion potential sailors to meet but ya start paring that down to opposite (usually) genders, take out the kids and really elderly people, drop the people who don't live in coastal areas around the globe, people with less than yer own IQ (and realize honestly that the folks with bigger numbers aren't looking for you), the sick or disabled, can't swim, scratch off folks with ethnicity or similar concerns ... what's left is a much smaller number of potential datable/matables.

Then you've got all the geography issues.

And beyond it all, the now-tiny pool of potentials includes the attractive to the not so much (a busy two-way street), then the things-in-common issues, the deal-breakers, the scary unknowns ... it's a jungle out there.

My take is a seeker is left with a pool so small that the interested parties are so few as to be meetable at boating social websites like CF and SN. SA is off limits to folks who insist on being nice, and is populated with drunks, druggies and worse.

The good news for the OP and the like is that you've come to the right place. The folks here ARE your potential pool of possibilities.

That's the bad news too.


exactly.
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:15   #50
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
Could just be as simple as 2 Alpha's can't cut it.. solo sailing is an expression of independence.. by both male and female.
I've met quite a few guys who thought buying a sailboat was a pathway to loadsa women and easy sex.. Uhuh... Noooooooo...!!!
Mind.. they don't last long and soon dump the boat somewhere along the way.
Single women I find don't solo looking for a mate.. there's much easier ways to get a man.. lets face it.. they're not the 'Headless Roosters' running all over hoping for a 'YES..!!!'
The problem with a strong independent streak is.. sooner or later one or other in a couple gets possessive/oppressive... and the fuse is lit.. the length of that fuse varies depending on the individual..
this is also dead accurate~~~~
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:20   #51
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by Blue Crab View Post
I think it's a numbers game. Yes, there are 7+ Billion potential sailors to meet but ya start paring that down to opposite (usually) genders, take out the kids and really elderly people, drop the people who don't live in coastal areas around the globe, people with less than yer own IQ (and realize honestly that the folks with bigger numbers aren't looking for you), the sick or disabled, can't swim, scratch off folks with ethnicity or similar concerns ... what's left is a much smaller number of potential datable/matables.

Then you've got all the geography issues.

And beyond it all, the now-tiny pool of potentials includes the attractive to the not so much (a busy two-way street), then the things-in-common issues, the deal-breakers, the scary unknowns ... it's a jungle out there.

My take is a seeker is left with a pool so small that the interested parties are so few as to be meetable at boating social websites like CF and SN. SA is off limits to folks who insist on being nice, and is populated with drunks, druggies and worse.

The good news for the OP and the like is that you've come to the right place. The folks here ARE your potential pool of possibilities.

That's the bad news too.
Bluey, your criteria have expanded.

I vaguely recall that not so long ago "clean and lean" was all that was required .

SWL
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:22   #52
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

To all you lonely hearts out there...
Like attracts like. Stop dwelling on what you dont want and think on what you do want.
"Tiny pool" is also cynical. Thats looking upon others and passing judgment before you have ever met! With one "tiny pool" thought you restrict you choices narrowly thus creating your own "tiny pool" sheesh...give em a chance.

Such negativity from so many. Tut tut no fun at all!
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Old 24-10-2016, 10:34   #53
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

on a semi serious note--i have found that men with boats smaller than mine have a testosterone issue with that. they get a true omy complex..napoleon comes to mined~~~~~ if i slip up and say what a cute little boat, he flies off the bludi handle and gets all peacocking..
as many of the single sailing males have smaller than formosa 41 to manage, my pool is even smaller then ol' crabby's has become. lean n clean-h aha h ah aha ha ha
oops.
i donot settle, but comfortable--not skinny not fat, and sober sounds about ok.
oh yeah, when u =i used to make way too much dough for my lifestyle, males making even 10 cents weekly less thani had serious issues also~~ ladies are not to make more dough nor own a larger boat/truck/wtf nor own a better sporty car than the males. h ah ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and gods forbid the lady is smarter or better driver.... omy.... so, sailing is totally out of the question. the ultimate insult to the testosterone fed male ego. how DARE she ......
ha h ah aha ha ha ha ha ha h ah aha ha
yeah i have watched this obvious phenomenon for a lifetime, as i am older than dirt. it is no better today what with legislated antisexism than it was back when ol boys clubs were status quo. (right place , right time, right family, and right position in that family. because of my station in my family i was allowed access to the ol boys club until my majority, age 18, at which time it was expected i resign to crotcheting with the old birds..hahahahaha)
nooooooooooo
i will NOT lower the damn bar..ha ha ha h aha ha ha
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Old 24-10-2016, 14:39   #54
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

As above, no point in "settling." No winners there either side.

Do yer own thing. Someone comes along, cool.

Meanwhile there's so much to see and do and learn. I say that at 74.

SWL: Lean and clean has proven to be a substantial filter, a high standard apparently tho it wasn't intended to be. All I really meant by that was a slender smart gal. Looks are not a deal breaker. I've had my share of hotties. Doesn't mean a damn.
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Old 25-10-2016, 02:18   #55
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

I never thought I'd be contributing to this thread (for obvious reasons), but I'd like to say something here, going back to the time when I was single, and had been, for a while, plus I was doing what I wanted.

It took me a while, and during the transition period, I decided that the best deal was to follow my own interests, and in the cases that was where someone could accompany me, I would include someone in those interests. This strategy worked well for me: it allowed me to treat people to events they would not normally have participated in, and in one case, improved a relationship with a family member--one of my kids.

Following one's own interest is paramount, and as Fritz Perls wrote, "if, by chance, we find each other, it could be beautiful; otherwise, it was never meant to be."

All of us desire love (even those who won't admit it), but love comes only when one gives love, sort of paradoxical, especially when you're not feeling good about yourself. If you're in that hard place, then just take 'baby steps" towards doing what you want, till you're comfortable with that, and then proceed onwards. You absolutely must, follow your heart, here, or you don't get where you are content, let alone where you want to be.

Ann, the old fart with an old fart soul mate
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Old 25-10-2016, 05:44   #56
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pirate Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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To all you lonely hearts out there...
Like attracts like. Stop dwelling on what you dont want and think on what you do want.
"Tiny pool" is also cynical. Thats looking upon others and passing judgment before you have ever met! With one "tiny pool" thought you restrict you choices narrowly thus creating your own "tiny pool" sheesh...give em a chance.

Such negativity from so many. Tut tut no fun at all!
The tiny pool referred to is essentially finding a soulmate (no small task) who is willing to give up all landlubberly hopes and dreams to move aboard yer vessel (with all the sacrifices that entails, many of which won't be immediately apparent) forever and ever amen. Hard facts don't equal negativity, ma'am.

The best most can hope for is finding a partner who enjoys boating for short periods. Very few sailors of any stripe choose to live aboard for long anyway. My comments were directed at the long termy folks of both all self-identified genders.


I don't disagree with your Law of Attraction approach to life. I always apply it when I can "be here now."
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Old 25-10-2016, 06:27   #57
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

This thread has given me many a good chuckle. I like the one about high heels, and am glad the ladies took it as a joke (it was a joke, right?)


If you want a boat lady, just use a reputable site like match.com and make it very clear about YOU (not what you expect from her). For example, tell the truth- EVERY weekend on the boat, don't attend weddings or family parties in summer, mortified by land-people events such as urban whatever-fest that is attended by tens of thousands.

If a lady finds your lifestyle interesting, she'll investigate. If not, you've not wasted your time.

ps. Let them live (for a while) with the dream that every night is a sunset and sex on the beach is like movies. Let them find out about thunderstorms, mosquitos, and sand fleas the hard way...all in due time.
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Old 25-10-2016, 06:52   #58
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

i found high heels made good hammers in times of dire need....better as hole makers..
they always looked better on someone else's feet
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Old 25-10-2016, 07:15   #59
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

Love these posts, all of them. Made my laugh for the day at work.
Met my husband 30 years ago when least expected it and certainly wasn't looking for anyone. Striped suspenders and plaid hat, Mr. Bill t-shirt and I knew he was mine. Still haven't stopped laughing. Complete opposite of everything I was looking for.
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Old 25-10-2016, 07:29   #60
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by zeehag View Post
expressing the universal reaction to our sola-ing.
where is your husband? boyfriend? boat owner?? oh yeah, hay i am boat owner-- oh> did your husband pick it out for you>> get with it folks... dont need a guy to dick tate his desires onto us.
women also have thoughts and likes. we also have dislikes. as many as you loudmouthed sexist males looking for deck fluff then whining when she cannot do anything on board--you have protected her from having to learn, until your heart attack kills you and leaves her alone on the water without having been allowed to learn the boats systems!!! you forget or have yet to understand that women are not field animals expected not to think. nor are all women wearing comfortable shoes dikes, as you so demeaningly call them---women wearing comfortable shoes are nurses, sailors, all manner of heterosexual beings, of a female nature, complete with brains and feelings and capability and strength-- as we probably possess more strength than you sexist whiners, you have a rage of envy within you that presents in a most ugly manner--belittlement and demeaning of the object of your jealousy.
and you wonder where the available sailing females are. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. wonder no more.
we are watching as you reveal your true selves in front of us.
Maybe if you stop bashing you'd have better luck. Any thread that discusses relationships you bash.
You do add a lot to the forum zee , but back off with the bashing already, it's counter active.
Dick Tate ?.. really ? Take a pill 😴
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