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Old 19-04-2017, 15:09   #166
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by Crazy Talk View Post
Zeehag, I'm not a frequent poster and not on your radar. But of all the people I have ever seen post on any internet forum, you would be my choice if faced with the question " Who would you choose if allowed to meet only one person from the internet?"

This is said in the most complimentary way possible.

I might not like you, but that list is small so unlikely. It's 50/50 you would dislike me (maybe already do). I wouldn't tell you how to sail or touch your stuff or try to bait you into an argument. I'd just sit and listen because your perspective and outlook on life is at the same time humorous, maddening, educational, and cringey.

Keep on keeping on!
i donot dislike folks from get go-- gotta earn that one....i reserve judgement until i am seated across a table with ye over either something to eat or drink. i take limonada natural, thankyou.
i like crew who can anticipate needs.
hard to find those.
donot need to talk if ye know how to do the tasks.
talk is a luxury.
dawg if i only could meet one person from internet i would have to cheat.
got more than one.
cringey--i like that-- gotta work on that more.. hahahaha
now, meeting before sailing could be fun.
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Old 22-04-2017, 04:34   #167
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by ddeeds View Post
My take away from the last few pages are this...

Why worry about or discuss step 842 when neither of you know each other and for some, you do it prior to your actually first date. The whole "where is this going" or better yet "you have to give up everything you know to go sailing with me for X number or months or else" isn't very attractive nor effective.

Slow down fellows. What would you think and what would your reaction be if a woman you just started dating told you that if you want to continue to see her that you have to get her pregnant? Yeah... not good!

Patience and timing is everything. If you give her the opportunity to to get to know you and for the relationship to develop like you should... she might very well come to that decision that she wants to sail away with you and want it just as much as you do.
Well said ddeeds. And Zeehag if I had to choose someone to meet here on the internet it would be you. I think you use to work in the ER and I have total respect for all working there from personal experience.
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Old 22-04-2017, 11:31   #168
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

It's all a game of the sexes controlled by hormones.

Now after many years of manipulation, on both sides, trying to gain the approval of a mate has always been disappointing. I really understand the old custom of arranged marriages.
One should always look for the approval of a good mentor when choosing a mate. The hormones distorts ones ability to make good decisions thru fantasy. E.g Arm candy, trophy wife, rich man, tall-dark-handsome. Seldom thru common interests and expectations. The strength of family in America has about diminished. There are way too many variables in modern society.
This is a good reason for strong boarders. Pretty soon it'll be near impossible to find someone who's a match with commonality.

We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. Manipulation may seem benign or even friendly or flattering, as if the person has your highest concern in mind, but in reality itís to achieve an ulterior motive. Other times, itís veiled hostility, and when abusive methods are used, the objective is merely power. You may not realize that youíre being unconsciously intimidated.

Fake concerns are sometimes used to undermine your decisions and confidence. Yata, yata, yata! There is a whole lot that can be said about maturing and being properly trained, which has become lost in the world of diversity.

Now in my senior years I look back and see how foolish I've been chasing after fantasies, most commonly now called dreams. "In your dreams" Love is just another 4 letter word that needs to grow, not found!
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Old 23-04-2017, 22:29   #169
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Now in my senior years I look back and see how foolish I've been chasing after fantasies, most commonly now called dreams. "In your dreams" Love is just another 4 letter word that needs to grow, not found!
I'm glad you came to your senses and I'm glad you still have your boat.
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Old 26-04-2017, 15:45   #170
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
...There are way too many variables in modern society. This is a good reason for strong boarders. Pretty soon it'll be near impossible to find someone who's a match with commonality....

...Fake concerns are sometimes used to undermine your decisions and confidence. Yata, yata, yata! There is a whole lot that can be said about maturing and being properly trained, which has become lost in the world of diversity....
Please don't bring race into this issue. My generation, as I have come to know it, values inter-racial relationships - no one says it's right for you, but it's right for many of us.

Keep in mind that my generation also tends to be skeptical of the institution of marriage and the American Dream in general. This isn't because we don't relate to other cultures well, it's because we see how miserable our parents are.

(Just wanted to drop that in. I probably have no business being in this thread so I'll leave )
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Old 26-04-2017, 18:27   #171
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

I'm looking for a feminist who can't disguise her love of being spanked.


.
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Old 26-04-2017, 18:53   #172
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by AmericanVagrant View Post
Please don't bring race into this issue. My generation, as I have come to know it, values inter-racial relationships - no one says it's right for you, but it's right for many of us.

Keep in mind that my generation also tends to be skeptical of the institution of marriage and the American Dream in general. This isn't because we don't relate to other cultures well, it's because we see how miserable our parents are.

(Just wanted to drop that in. I probably have no business being in this thread so I'll leave )
I can't speak for *my* generation, so I doubt you can speak for yours.
And btw, from your response you completely missed his point. Jus' sayin'
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Old 26-04-2017, 19:39   #173
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by AmericanVagrant View Post
Please don't bring race into this issue. My generation, as I have come to know it, values inter-racial relationships - no one says it's right for you, but it's right for many of us.

Keep in mind that my generation also tends to be skeptical of the institution of marriage and the American Dream in general. This isn't because we don't relate to other cultures well, it's because we see how miserable our parents are.marrey

(Just wanted to drop that in. I probably have no business being in this thread so I'll leave )
My...how politically of you to say so. Your comment reminds me of what is currently going on at Berkeley. If the whiny crybabies don't like a guest speaker because of their political affiliations, they are boo'd off stage or cancelled. delmarrey was merely commenting (as a comparison). You take the word "stong borders" and turn it into some kind of racial slur, although you safely stay on one side of that line.
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Old 26-04-2017, 20:31   #174
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by Saltyhog View Post
I can't speak for *my* generation, so I doubt you can speak for yours.
And btw, from your response you completely missed his point. Jus' sayin'
I agree that I cannot speak for 100% of my generation, that's why I qualified my statement with "as I have come to know it". And of course I really do apologize if I misunderstood his point (I mean this sincerely).

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My...how politically of you to say so. Your comment reminds me of what is currently going on at Berkeley. If the whiny crybabies don't like a guest speaker because of their political affiliations, they are boo'd off stage or cancelled. delmarrey was merely commenting (as a comparison). You take the word "stong borders" and turn it into some kind of racial slur, although you safely stay on one side of that line.
From my perspective it doesn't feel like I'm being politically correct. Interracial relationships have been a normal part of my life and the life of the people around me. I don't believe I understand what you mean by "you safely stay on one side of that line". Furthermore I didn't take his words as a racial slur. If my comment indicated that I did, then that was due to my own failure to comprehensively explain my objection.

I am unable to understand how my comments are salient to the bickering of students at Berkeley. I support free speech in every sense, I do not object to Ann Coulter speaking at UCB and find it silly that students would. I also don't object to a speaker being boo'd, as that's included in the package that is free speech.
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Old 26-04-2017, 23:10   #175
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by AmericanVagrant View Post
Please don't bring race into this issue. My generation, as I have come to know it, values inter-racial relationships - no one says it's right for you, but it's right for many of us.

Keep in mind that my generation also tends to be skeptical of the institution of marriage and the American Dream in general. This isn't because we don't relate to other cultures well, it's because we see how miserable our parents are.

(Just wanted to drop that in. I probably have no business being in this thread so I'll leave )
I'm not sure where you pulled RACE out of my post. I think you're caught up in today's political spectrum. I'm married to a woman of Asian/Islander persuasion and have had girl friends of all so called races, even Afro!

So, before chastising someone you should question your own motives/agenda. We sailors/boaters exist to avoid prejudice/ bias social groups.

Please don't bring it here!
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Old 27-04-2017, 03:40   #176
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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So.

There is a local Social club near my clinic. A restaurant/bar with lots of members. Lots of families, women men and kids.

There is one attractive and well respected 55 year old female, of pleasant looks and attractive body. Given the Spanish proclivity for match making, we have been steered together.

The night.

Sat next to each other at the bar, where pleasant conversation ensued. Family members (hers) came and said hello, some talk of things we know etc.... She told me she was free of a 30 year marriage and perhaps had 20 years left so was going to enjoy them with a little beer and wine etc.

Well she proceeded to do so. Then the photos came out of the grandkids, etc.

She was wobbly at this stage.

I had that feeling of time I could never get back.

Sad really. But we are who we are and I wish her happiness and luck in finding someone who appreciates her grandkids more than I do. I look at them as different sized anchors.

There is a reality in life that both sexes have to understand and deal with individually. Every woman who has children is really saying that every man that dates them will have to understand that they have people that they will always love more than the man. That goes doubly for grandkids.

I dont do well in that atmosphere.

Know yourself and the time wasted will be much shorter in the dating.
So true Weaves.
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Old 27-04-2017, 11:51   #177
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
I'm not sure where you pulled RACE out of my post. I think you're caught up in today's political spectrum. I'm married to a woman of Asian/Islander persuasion and have had girl friends of all so called races, even Afro!

So, before chastising someone you should question your own motives/agenda. We sailors/boaters exist to avoid prejudice/ bias social groups.

Please don't bring it here!
My mistake, I do apologize

I misinterpreted your message to be an argument in favor of closing borders in order to homogenize the population. Sorry for the detour, back on course now.

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...There is a reality in life that both sexes have to understand and deal with individually. Every woman who has children is really saying that every man that dates them will have to understand that they have people that they will always love more than the man. That goes doubly for grandkids.

I dont do well in that atmosphere.

Know yourself and the time wasted will be much shorter in the dating.
Completely agree - I recently met up with an ex-girlfriend that had a kid after we dated. Her relationship with the kid's father soured so she was back on the dating scene. Poor girl couldn't realize why she wasn't bringing in more of what she considered to be 'eligible men'

She's attractive and young which in online dating are sufficient to just about get away with murder...so I asked her what the opening to her profile was. Turns out it was something along the lines of: "I have an amazing young child, she is the world to me and any man will just need to accept that"

I'm sure truer words have never been spoken, but I can't help but feel like there's a more diplomatic way to go about disclosing that information.
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Old 27-04-2017, 14:29   #178
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

It took me many years to workout that a woman expects to be number one in your life but you are number two, three or four in hers depending on the number of children she has, as Weavis said, this is only natural. Once I came to terms with this, life was easier.

I decided that my biggest commitment was to me, my partner is back on the boat after she got of a number of years back, we didn't break up, I just kept cruising and went home now and then to visit. During that time I had a number of different crew and enjoyed my time, both with company and alone.

At some stage my partner will get of again, I know this, the pull of two very young grand children will be to much. Im ok with this and she knows without a doubt I will continue to live my life the way I want to, im not compromising. I chose not to have kids and are not giving up the freedom that comes with that.

I've also made it very clear that if/when she returns home she surpports herself, im not bank rolling her choices. She will get a job.

Deciding to live ones life the way one wants sometimes draws fire from the conservative conventional bunch, I just don't care. Understanding and accepting reality while knowing yourself and being honest to yourself makes life so much easier.

Personally I would never build a long term relationship with a woman that has kids again, it creates a relationship of inequality in many ways, just not for me.

And I do wish some older man explained these truths to me earlier in life.
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Old 13-05-2017, 14:26   #179
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

Not that I'm looking for a partner right now, and I'm certainly not advertising, but I'm a single 25y/o trying to become an experienced sailor- though in 50 years I still won't consider myself experienced... anyway, finding a good man who is monogamous, same faith as I, with similar sailing dreams seems to be quite a task! Most folks drink themselves stupid, only want to have sex, and can't find a moral fiber in their body... though, I suppose that's why we have "plenty of fish in the sea"?... I won't give up but I definitely think no matter age or gender, it's difficult ANYWHERE for ANYONE to find that trusted partner...
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Old 13-05-2017, 15:15   #180
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Re: Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

I'm sitting here on the boat bored so thought I would comment. Sure, finding that special someone is difficult, but anything worthwhile is so. During my life I've been blessed with finding good woman and the best....the very best was a woman that I met on match.com and we spent 11 years together until her passing last June. While she enjoyed the sailing, there was something more and that was an inner beauty to match her outward beauty. Her health got worse during those years and people knew us when came to the ER which was often. She never did complain because of the pain and enjoyed doing her artwork and maintained a positive outlook on life until the last day. It would be so easy to just give up and admit that I've enjoyed a good life and not try to find another partner, but to me at least life is about sharing experiences....both the good and bad. And wouldn't you know, that sometimes the bad is the most rewarding.
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