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Old 31-12-2018, 10:54   #16
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Then there was the time I changed the prop on my 24' fishing boat. Couldn't figure out why it took so many more RPMs to get it to go anywhere.

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Old 31-12-2018, 10:56   #17
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Originally Posted by Captain Graham View Post
Yes the bow was still hooked to the trailer wench.
A trailer wench. What a great idea.
Where do I get one.
Maybe she can cook and be maid too?
I sometimes have a Winch Wench. Very useful, but distracting.

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Old 31-12-2018, 11:33   #18
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

One of our Ports o' Call has a dual launch ramp with an outside concrete pier, and on the other side of the pier is deep water. From the outside of the pier we're not 10' from the hopeful launchers.

So about once a year we tie up on the outside of the pier to watch the show. One does not have to wait long...and a mighty entertaining show it is!
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Old 31-12-2018, 13:59   #19
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

I guess we've all been there at one time or another … Our very first sailboat, a 20 ft. Cygnus open daysailer. I modified the trailer with lower bunks & 8x8 inch deep trough for the keel allowing the boat to sit lower on the trailer.
First trip to the lake, & prior to departure, I decided to drive a couple of wood wedges, one each side of the keel to prevent movement. The 200km road trip was very successful, no problems or concerns.
On reaching the launch ramp at our destination, I instructed my wife to give a shout when the boat floated clear of the trailer. I backed the car awaiting the call … which never came. Suddenly, I realised water was half way up my legs & the seat was getting wet so I immediately pulled forward out of the water, berating my wife for not giving a shout. I immediately had to apologise when I discovered I had forgotten to remove the wedges.
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Old 31-12-2018, 16:23   #20
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

A husband and wife story.
The wife is driving the 16’ lake boat as the husband is dropped of at the dock. He quickly backs the trailer into the water and waits for the wife to drive the boat on the trailer. No luck... He finally wades up to his chest and barely jumps into the boat, yelling at poor wifey the entire time. He drives the boat on the trailer, quickly jumps out, gets back in the car soaking wet and pulls the boat up the ramp. He only forgot three things. 1. The outboard was still running! 2. It was still in the lowered position! 3. It was still in forward gear!
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Old 31-12-2018, 17:05   #21
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Checking out a new to me ramp, 28' Boat on trailer needing 6' water to float off. Meaning a 15' tow bar extension needed to avoid drowning the truck. Backed down, chocked trailer wheels each side and unhooked and installed the extension bar. Hooked up again. Now remember, I was only checking out the ramp, so boat still strapped down to the trailer. Fast firward, sag of extension bar put tongue bolts etc firmly into traction slots cast into concrete of the ramp, so rather than snag it solid I pulled it back out, unhooked and took the extension out, after rechocking the wheels. Backed up to hook up properly and felt the little nudge of contact. Got out to check, on the money, another inch to go, raised the dolly wheel a tad and got back in for try #2. Another little nudge, another check, same again. Hmmm, well once more ought to do it. Nudge #3 was enough to enable the trailer wheels to finish their climb up and over the wheel chocks, the whole mess rocketed back down the ramp, definitely 6' of water depth, I'm launched! Just a small matter of being strapped down still. Oh, and I'm up tight against the floating dock alongside the ramp. It all ended an hour later, with two amused Coast Guard folks holding lines while I cut the straps, soaking wet in my underwear and a T-shirt when unable to release the ratchets which of course were well underwater. Then spent another hour try to get the trailer up the ramp, with torn off dolly wheel and bolts firmly caught in the traction grooves i was trying to avoid in the first place. The takeaway from this... once you get close to coupling up your trailer on a steep ramp, maybe attach the safety chains! (and buy wheel clamps/blocks that tightly wedge between the dual trailer wheels) If anyone asks, it wasn't me...
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Old 31-12-2018, 20:53   #22
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

My slip is about 30' from the ramp.
I watched a guy backing the trailer, his wife operating the boat. He got out, walked around yelling instructions in a very demeaning way. He then backed the trailer in, plenty deep, screaming at his wife to back the f@# boat off the trailer.
With the outboard screaming, she moved a little so he pulled the truck forward out of the water, real aggressively.
Yup... Forgot to undo the bow cable.
Expensive boats make quite the racket scraping across the concrete
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Old 07-01-2019, 07:43   #23
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

i had a nice ski boat that was recalled for some work. I collected it from the dealer and backed it down the ramp. All good. Headed towards my boat lift at idle speed. Boat felt increasingly sluggish in speed and handling, and I noted that I was sitting a little low in the water. Carpet was suddenly wet and it occurred to me that the dealer had most likely removed one or more drain plugs from the bilge. Just made it to my lift, which then struggled to lift the boat with all that water weight, but slowly got it out of the water. Both drain plugs were out. My bad for not checking, dealer bad for not telling me. No damage done.
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Old 07-01-2019, 08:00   #24
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

My worst forgetful day was when Dad and I had the boat all the way into the water and the trailer parked before we realized the rudder was still in the garage.

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Old 07-01-2019, 12:11   #25
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

A couple decades ago, the library in Carmichael California needed new restrooms accessible to a wider variety of folk with a wider range of physical abilities.

The remodel required closing one one-holer restroom during construction while channeling all genders into the other restroom, also a one-holer. (This was before folks realized they could be 'gender fluid'.)

So... I finish, flush, worsh. Exiting and weaving through the waiting line of impatients, a child yelled "Hey! Hey!" as he tugged my sleeve. "You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe!"

Bless his heart.
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Old 07-01-2019, 12:48   #26
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Originally Posted by Tayana42 View Post
You were probably distracted by the wench on the trailer. Was she near the winch?
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Old 07-01-2019, 17:19   #27
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Originally Posted by PuttingDoctor View Post
One of our docks here at Halifax Harbor Marina faces the launch ramps. I understand many of the folks use lawn chairs and beer coolers on summer weekends. The entertainment is free.
I think my best ramp experience was when I pulled a MacGregor 26 motorsailer out singlehanded. I pulled as far forward as I could so others could make the turn to back in. One of the lead boats waiting to launch waited not thinking he had room. A female from a truck some 5 or 6 back comes up to the boat as I’m getting ready to drop the mast and begins bitching me out about blocking the ramp.
I politely mentioned that the vehicle at the turn had plenty of room and perhaps she should speak to him. I also pointed out the mast and trees close ahead and said, “everybody gets a turn, mine just takes a while longer.” She walked away with a puzzled look on her face.
The first time we went to the public ramp to launch our MacGregor 25, it tooks my wife and I forever to put the mast up. We used the halyard on the mast tied to the tow hook on the front of our pick up truck to aid in pulling the mast up while I tried to keep it from shifting towards the port or starboard and of course the rigging tended to get bound up on something or another requiring to set the partially raised mast back down and resort the rigging. So we finally get the mast up and go to put the trailer on its the truck's tow hitch in order to back the trailer down the ramp, when we realize that the boat with its mast now up was on the wrong side of a power line ; so we had to drop the mast, move the trailered boat to the opposite side of the power line and then go through the same effort of restepping the mast before being able to launch the boat for the first time. It took considerably less time to raise the mast the second time, there being a learning curve and advantage to practice. I was pretty tired out by the time we got the boat launched so we just motored to the marina and called it a day and went sailing for the first time the next day. We were fortunate to notice that the power line as in the way of the mast, else it could have been a damaging situation. I asked the City to remove the power line as it was an obvious hazard and so they buried the line before the season ended. Very few sailboats put in at the public ramp so the city had not thought through the hazard of a power line.

Indeed it does take a lot longer to set up a sailboat, installing and dropping a boom, mast, rudder then it takes to launch or remove a power boat or PWC. And with the mast up it is much more restricted as to where you can move it to.
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Old 13-01-2019, 09:00   #28
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

When I taught Powerboating in the UK, I used to tell my students: "First off, there are no new mistakes in boating - they've all been done before. Second - your instructors have done most of them, themselves!".
We had a dinghy coach come from London once to coach Lasers, he was going to use a Club RIB. "So", says I, "would you like me to go through the startup procedures on that boat?" Very snotty, he looks down his nose at me. " I am an Olympic Level coach - I've probably driven more RIBs in more countries than you can ever imagine - qualifications a yard long - what's your little club got that I don't know?". "Fine" says I, and wanders off. 15 minutes later he's stuck in the RIB, cranking the engine. No spark, just crank, crank, crank. "Hmmmm", says I (my turn to be snotty), "sounds like you've not got the killcord in". The reply was at about 100 decibels: "Do you think I'm an idiot??? I've the (misbegotten/sexually explicit) killcord in!!!!!! LOOK!!!!!! Dam' piss-arse provincial Yacht Club boat won't start !!!!!". "Oh, didn't you know, this boat (usually used for training) has 2 killswitches." "Well why the '*'*'*'''*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'* didn't someone tell me?"
(Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain - Schiller)
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Old 13-01-2019, 09:47   #29
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Re: Boat Ramp - just so funny

Then there was the time in Spain...

My buddy drove an ancient C-2 for carrier COD delivery for the Med fleet. With both engines on fire but ditching was suicide == no parachutes because the self-loading cargo (aka 'passengers') tend to get excitable if they notice the flight crew leaving the aircraft during flight == they landed. Calmly, ATC radioed to all concerned:
"Sir, I knew you had it handled when I saw your landing gear preceed you down the runway. Have a good day."

Why is this remarkable? Those aircraft usually require an arresting cable to land safely... otherwise, they tend to end-up upside-down.

Two months later, that aircraft was back in service. Still beat-to-death and falling apart at the seams, but deemed in 'flyable' condition by the fleet staffers in charge of paperclips and Really.Important.Desks. But mostly paperclips.

"Take your ticket, sir? Welcome to Mediterranean Air! We hope you enjoy your flight!"

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