Abandon Living Aboard

[Hudson Force]

RumRunnerSail gives us another account of why it is incorrect to use the 90% "fail" data. Their account of cruising for their five years is an obvious success. As said earlier, people don't abandon living aboard as often as they complete an achievement.

[oldragbaggers]

Originally Posted by RumRunnerSail

I think rognvald is correct. You have to have a good relationship with your partner to be able to withstand some of the pressures of living aboard full time. We have also seen many people not last very long for various reasons, but this one was a big factor.

I will say on our 5 year adventure of no land home and cruising throughout the Caribbean the first year was full of excitement, new challenges, overcoming fears, and growing personally. The challenges of transitioning from a full time job and life "plugged" into the matrix of American society is hard to get away from. Getting used to the details of living full time and traveling via sailboat is not easy in the beginning and many people fail.

The second year was so much easier and we were in our groove. Things were more relaxed and enjoyable. Tasks were more routine. Going in and out of new harbors was easy. Overnight passages not so hard. Checking into foreign country's not as overwhelming. Boat breaking not a big deal to fix...

The third year for us was a turning point. We had been to most places from Northern East coast America to Trinidad and didn't want to do the Med or Pacific. It was still fun and great meeting new people and exploring, but the "newness" of the experiences was starting to fade.

Fourth year there was a big transition from having a great time where it trumped some of the details of living aboard to the small tasks just getting aggravating. Laundry in the dinghy to the shore. Getting water that is not tainted. Boat breaking... We missed some of the luxury of life living on land. Running water, full electricity, trash, sewer and a house that does not blow away from anchor in a storm! These things started to become more important to us than living on a boat anymore. We knew we were probably done when we put our boat on the hard in Grenada for a few weeks and got an apartment to take a break. The fifth year became about where we would go back to in America and getting there.

We are waiting to go back out again and show our new son all of the cool places we went, but probably will "abandon" living aboard full time and go for 3 - 6 months at a time. I think it will give a good balance between both of the lives for us.

This is an excellent post, and I maintain that your experience was a great success because you got everything you wanted out of it.

[onefastdaddy]

Originally Posted by rognvald

For a true liveaboard that does not have the conveniences of-- nor live in a liveaboard marina, the pitfalls for those who are not truly commited are:
1. Garbage disposal
2. Laundry
3. Provisioning
4. Water
5. Maintenance
6. Finding secure anchorages during storm conditions
7. Bottom cleaning
8. Illness and/or injury
9. Lack of time spent with adult children/grandchildren/family
10. Need for more living space/shoreside amenities
11. 24/7 time spent together
12. The ultimate awareness of Reality vs. the Dream

We lived aboard ten years and witnessed the death of the dream in the majority of those we met. The Cruising World stereotype does not match the reality of the experience. Only the truly committed will survive and I would describe them as counter cultural in their beliefs and their views on life. It is not an easy life, but the rewards outnumber the difficulties. Good luck and good sailing.

Well put. We end our first Month aboard our floating home on the 20th. Your list 1-8 are on our list of challenges we are overcoming. 9-12 really are not issues for us or anyone who lives aboard because they want to leave the madness behind. The madness of politics, economy, employment as a means to collect material things. To chase some ideal that more stuff brings more happiness.

1-9 is key as ip meeting basic needs brings the opportunity for happiness. Food, shelter, security. If you are unhappy there then more stuff it's not going to help.

As a family of four when we had a thee bedroom home used only one. We just always spend time together. That maybe key as it can bring you more together if you all just enjoy each others company. Our catamaran has four cabins which allows us to have separate spaces if we want time alone. 12 is for us the most positive thing. With 1-8 taken care of and 11 life is exactly how we want it. What a great reality and thing to be aware of. We as a family are content to just have each other. Get there first before you get the boat.



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[onefastdaddy]

Originally Posted by cappy.c

Well I am very new to the forum and am in the process of being very new to the cruising world! I just wanted to share my newbie thoughts, So please excuse my Broad Reach if some disagree. I have always loved the ocean as I live very close to it being from Maine! Through my younger days I use to sail small sailboats and loved it with a passion! I use to dream of living on board and being part of the cruising life, But life had seemed to always get in the way! I have in my life been on a few sailboats of friends and had always loved it! Memories of my teenage days when my folks and I were on a day sail with a friend of my parents we arrived back to port with this huge old sailing vessel with 4 huge masts! Apparently it was a learning vessel of sorts for some sort of school.(Can't remember the details,) But I remember what my parents friend said to me. He knew I had a spark for sailing and he made this comment to me saying that big beautiful ship had room for one more student and he asked if I was interested? I didn't even have to think about saying yes it fell right out with my pounding heart! And the next comment he made to me is one I will never forgive him for! And one that still crushes me in a weird way to this day! He said WOW! I was just kidding! But he could tell from my expression how much I would of giving to be part of that world and he knew he hurt me very badly! Anyway I had told myself several decades ago I would one day live the life I so much desired and set some goals as to how I would manage this goal! And now I am there and it only took me to the age of a soon to be 45 in a few more days on the calendar, But I am there! I know this is a little long and I apologize, But This is meant for those that think of taking on these dreams and challenges! I have always known in my heart living on a sailing vessel was my destiny for some reason! It might sound strange, But I swear the ocean has always called to me in a way! I love being near it, I love being on it, I love diving in it! The strange thing is is my family from years past were all mariners of sorts, hauling granite up and down the eastern seaboard in sloops. I swear the sea beckons me and this is how I know it's meant for me! So I think if one has a similar kind of feeling? That just maybe, It might be for you too! I have saved and paid off our home, I am not buying new, but one in good shape as I want to know my vessel intimately! I am prepared for the expense as I have had several smaller type boats! I am prepared for headaches, Heartbreaks, and cost dismay! If you are aware of all of these things and still want to do it? You just might be one of those in the 10%ile! I know I am! And will be! Just a few short months and it's driving me crazy I can't make it go faster! Sorry this was so long, But figured for anyone thinking of this being something they want to do that this may help? Thanks and forgive me if I rambled?

Reality is what you make it.

Sounds like you're heart is there. Go for it. Sooner you go the sooner you are living that reality. To try and not succeed or find it is not for you is no failure. To never do it or try is the failure.

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[onefastdaddy]

Originally Posted by RumRunnerSail

I think rognvald is correct. You have to have a good relationship with your partner to be able to (snip)

We are waiting to go back out again and show our new son all of the cool places we went, but probably will "abandon" living aboard full time and go for 3 - 6 months at a time. I think it will give a good balance between both of the lives for us.

We are completing our first month in the Caribbean and already I see a similar path for our family. We do want to see the Med and Pacific though. Thank you for sharing because it was nice to read of your success making it work. We know in our minds land will be there when we are finished.


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[zeehag]

this lifestyle is a tough but rewarding one. all is done by self. is truly independence, yet dependence.
all your daily meeds are on your own shoulders, those who insist on being catered to and delivered to will learn this is not the way, normally, of the living aboard and cruising lifestyle.
it is also one reason why the fail rate is high, like 90 percent.
those who put out this energy and work for this lifestyle find it rewarding , or not. 10 percent succeed.
is not easy.
yes one must search for laundry and the food purchasing places with what is required in the minds of the purchasor--flexibility is a key to this lifestyle.
so is determination and persistence.
one must also seek proper and appropriate locations and bins for the garbage we generate on a daily basis.
there is always a challenge to meet and surpass.
many find some other lifestyle more attainable for their needs, that is also good.
it is important to know ones limits and flex accordingly.
i have been living aboard since1990--i would not be a happy camper in a land home , not now nor ever.
i never was comfortable when i was living on dirt..
the more flexible one is, the better the successes enjoyed.
this isnt a lifestyle for everyone, as the numbers indicate, and those who succeed in this on a full time basis are a unique bunch.
to the new-- welcome and buena fortuna... mebbe we meet in a beautiful and obscure anchorage.

[onefastdaddy]

I hope we meet as well. Our boat is named Traveller.


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[oldragbaggers]

Zee, you are always saying over and over how hard, or not easy, the liveaboard life is. But whether or not it is hard, relative to the alternative, is all a matter of perspective. For me, sitting all day at a desk is not easy. Trying to manage a home and take care of a million errands which serve no purpose than to support a working life, after I've already worked all day at the office, is not easy. Trying to earn enough money to support this shore side life is not easy. Sitting in traffic for an hour each day to get to a job that drives me crazy is not easy. Spending all my weekends trying to take care of a big house and property we don't need is not easy. Easy is a very subjective term, so is "hard."

Oh..... and waiting for the next 20 months to pass so we can retire and leave all this crap behind is DEFINITELY NOT EASY!!!

[Group9]

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Depends what you mean by abandoned?

If you sell off and live on land for a while and come back in N years is that abandoned?

If you go back to school or run out of money, but come back later in life?

I agree. I cruised the Bahamas for a year on my boat and then returned to land. We are planning to go again next spring. I don't know how long we will stay this time, but we're not getting rid of the house, and we are coming back.

That doesn't make me feel like I failed at it. I had a blast and plan to have another one or two or three or four.

[Oceanbrew]

I gave my two cents regarding trying to liveaboard, and the wife not wanting to a while back. We did it for five months which she agreed to.
Regarding the people in the marinas where I lived, almost all the liveaboards were on disability, social security or both. Maybe 10% were people who had regular jobs, and or kids on board.

[SV THIRD DAY]

While I'm not sure what makes a "real cruiser" or a "real live aboard" being on year 7 of it with our family of 4 I guess means we "succeeded" or does it? When we move off one day will our friends and family say we “failed at the Dream”? Sure they will. We have spent 99% of our time either at anchor or on a mooring ball so does that mean the folks doing it in a marina slip are not “real”? We have a washing machine so are we cheating and are less of a real live aboard because we do it in comfort? Did the couple or family that lived aboard for 3yrs really have their dream die….or did they satisfy their dream and move onto something else? Seems crazy to judge to me based on what WE want/like, but it's what humans do...we judge, rank our merit badges (money or boat size or lifestyle, etc).

I don’t buy into the “dream” label. The poor guy thinks the rich guy is “living the dream” but then the rich guy’s dream can be a nightmare for him. This “Dream” thing sells boats and gear, but it also sets people up for disappointment when they find out that the “Dream” still has the main thing in it that is making them unhappy….THEM.

It’s sport on sailing/cruising chat rooms to try and define the dream or what a real this or that is and in a way it’s the exact type of labels we poke fun at, the ”I’m better than him because I have a nicer car or house type of thing” (at least in this Bozo Cruiser/Live Aboard’s opinion). Don’t let the need to justify the Cruising/Living aboard lifestyle to the world turn you bitter on the world or give you the feeling of arrogance like we cruisers/live aboard are somehow better than the dirt dwellers. It’s easy to get sucked into that…but without the dirt dwellers and the society you poke fun at we wouldn’t be able to live this life. And if everyone lived like us…well you know it would not be nearly as much fun and there would be a HOA for my mooring field telling me I can’t dry my undies on the life line or fly my SSCA burgee unless it was approved by the HOA board.

Originally Posted by Oceanbrew

Regarding the people in the marinas where I lived, almost all the liveaboards were on disability, social security or both. Maybe 10% were people who had regular jobs, and or kids on board.

Absolutely jives with what we have seen also....but what's a "regular job" and why would I want one? Would that be like a regular house...who would want that?

[onestepcsy37]

In the words of Theodore Roosevelt;

Far better to have dared the mighty thing,
Though checkered with failure,
Then to live in that grey twilight
That knows neither victory nor defeat.

[zeehag]

no one is a real anything except real self.. if your self is into the lifestyle, you will do well. if you are having problems with adapting, it i smor e difficul tto survive inthis lifestyle.
life itself is neither easy nor difficult--it merely is.
lugging jugs of water is difficult to do for some, easier to do for others.. it is what it is.
working at a desk is incomprehensible to me-i did that..long ago and realized it aint my lifestyle. hell, i cant even typo.....i did many things in my life before i began to live on board a sailboat-heck i even worked successfully in a professional career while residing aboard.
many THINK foks are defined by the THINGS they own , as opposed to the beings they are.... there is a huge difference.
i grew into nursing, and loved the hell out of it. was rewarding. not easy in any sense of word. yet to me it was easy. and fun. is not for everyone, as any life style is not for everyone. you know what you can do and enjoy.
folks commenting on things and lifestyles in which they are not and never were involved are what cause the confusion in the minds of the ones requesting info.
how can someone not living this lifestyle(and who never has) actually intelligently comment on it or give info of a use-able nature.
yet it is a fact of life that folks will do exactly that.

life is an adventure meant to be LIVED.

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by SV THIRD DAY

It’s sport on sailing/cruising chat rooms to try and define the dream or what a real this or that is and in a way it’s the exact type of labels we poke fun at,

But thats what forums are for. To get a group of people with dreams/thoughts/beliefs/plans that form into various groups and argue with the other groups. Doesn't matter if it is cruising, liveaboard, anchors, production boats, blue water boats, guns, even batteries.

I'm currently changing the dream that I started out on when I got into sailing 7 years ago. My current dream is to just to go sailing for a year, then decide what to do after that (even if that is to sail for another year).

[Capt Phil]

Very interesting looking back on just over a decade of living aboard full time, some of it cruising, some living in a marina in San Diego. We would never trade the experience and lifestyle for anything. It brought us closer together as a couple and defined what we both valued in life.
Although health issues forced us ashore, we still retain many of the practices we learned living aboard. Power and water conservation are still a part of our daily routine. Trash control as well. We entertain our friends as if we were still living aboard... minimilist in pretty much everything we do. While we enjoy the extra room and are beginning to collect 'things', the definition of wants vs needs is always foremost in our minds.
One of the biggest adjustments for us both was sleeping. No more gentle rocking or the sound and smell of the ocean which we both miss a lot.
What we don't miss is fixing the head regularly, cleaning the shower sump to keep our home smelling sweet and the never ending sanding and varnishing to keep our boat in showroom condition.
All in all, we both wish we could have remained aboard for the rest of our lives but feel very fortunate to have had so many years of living aboard. Phil