Abandon Living Aboard

[BandB]

Those who abandoned it completely aren't very likely to be here.

Now in our case we went in with certain ideas and then let it all play out naturally. We never intended to not have a land home as well.

To this point we spend about 2/3 of our time cruising. We do it mostly in 1 month to 2 month segments. We've found at two months we're still enjoying cruising but we want to see our friends at home. While retired we do also have some business interests but most of that can be handled remotely. Now we've also found that when we've been cruising then we'll spend half as long at home as the time we were away. So if we're away for two months, then one month home, then back on the boat.

There will probably be times though we break this pattern in the future. For instance when we do the Great Loop we'll cruise more heavily during that summer to get as much in as possible and leave Chicago in time. Ultimately when we go to Europe it will be the same.

To us the breaks refresh and add to it. We're always excited when we head back to the boat or, if it's home, just get on it and head back out. Even when home we boat some. As we age, we have no earthly idea what we'll feel. We'll just adjust as we feel the desire or need. We certainly know we won't always have the health we do now and ultimately that will lead to a different pattern.

And we always reserve the option to change plans. Right now we're planning on flying home on July 29. I could easily see that changing by a week or so. Then we're scheduled to fly back out on August 30, but that could change as well.

[Hudson Force]

As Ann T. Cate noted back in post seven and BandB again above, those that have abandoned their life aboard would not be on this forum in the same numbers as those that have stayed.

Nancie and I bought our first liveaboard sailboat straight out of college and during our 43 years aboard we've never owned any living space ashore. We don't even keep a dock box or a car, though I have sometimes chained a bike to a post or hung a hose on a dock piling.

[mtarcher]

Hi Ricorrea,

I guess my wife and I fit somewhere around version 2.5 on the Stormsvale scale...we don't have a landlocked home...just an RV to explore in during the summers, and a Bene 361 for the winters in the Caribbean. We anchor out whenever able, sailing into marinas or whatever for reprovisioning and more water, then back out on the hook again. The admiral is not into the long-distance sailing, so we limit our distances to daysails. This is quite easy to do in the Leewards/Windwards. We love it and don't even think our lifestyle will change for the next 10 + years (unless the boat sinks or I can't bend wrenches anymore.) I would suggest you develop an attitude of "fix it yourself" and don't overspend and you'll do fine.

I think the folks that get in trouble, find themselves there from poor decisions at the outset of their adventure...spending too much on the price of the boat, outfitting the boat with every imaginable gadget, not gaining prior experience or at least talking to others in the lifestyle, etc.

I look forward to seeing you out there!

[Oceanbrew]

My wife did not want to liveaboard, but did it to please me. She promised me three months, max. I said five....a 'summer experience'. We bought a boat cash, it didn't take too much money to fix small things...a couple of thousand. We didn't do it up fancy, no special electronics e.g. the depth sounder will not work if the motor is running. It has a head, but no shower. No blisters, new Yanmar 15hp inboard.
Her complaints:
1) No private bathroom: we have to use the marinas for showering.
2) Not enough space.
3) movement, and feels like camping.
Prior to purchasing the boat I talked with a broker describing my wife. His response was, "40-48 foot if you want her to get on board."
She did not want to take out a boat loan, so I got the best deal I could with the cash I had.

We're in the process of purchasing a house, and if for some reason this does not go through, we will be in an apartment at the end of the month.

Why are we not cruising, and what's the problem: we both work in environments that require professional dress codes. These clothing articles alone take up way too much space. Then we have personal clothing (not so much space). Because I purchased a boat cash, I did not get a huge comfortable boat that can be lived aboard as if in a small house. 27' is what i have. We also have different work schedules, and cannot easily get vacation at the same time. Because we live on a boat, she doesn't want to go out on a boat for fun very often.

I go sailing 2-3 times a week. She goes once a month at most. Maybe if we were in Miami and could hit the Bahamas in a day or two things would be different. I'll be back on land at the end of the month, and I might not have a boat in a few months.

If you can afford a 40+ foot boat do it. She'll be happier.

[Capt Phil]

Lived aboard most of my adult life and only moved to the High Sierra in Nevada because of health reasons. Was forced to abandon the live aboard lifestyle due to health reasons otherwise we would still be cruising. Made a good living first working on the water commercially then started a delivery business which prospered beyond belief and really hated to give it up! Now landlocked and sail occasionally with friends but miss the ocean terribly... Life deals you a shitty hand occasionally but you just have to roll with it. I truly enjoy CF and it keeps me connected with those of you who are still out there livin' my dream. Once you become one with the water, you can never really abandon her... I sure wish I were back on her and plan to be buried in her depths, unfortunately sooner than later! Phil

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Capt Phil

Lived aboard most of my adult life and only moved to the High Sierra in Nevada because of health reasons. Was forced to abandon the live aboard lifestyle due to health reasons otherwise we would still be cruising. Made a good living first working on the water commercially then started a delivery business which prospered beyond belief and really hated to give it up! Now landlocked and sail occasionally with friends but miss the ocean terribly... Life deals you a shitty hand occasionally but you just have to roll with it. I truly enjoy CF and it keeps me connected with those of you who are still out there livin' my dream. Once you become one with the water, you can never really abandon her... I sure wish I were back on her and plan to be buried in her depths, unfortunately sooner than later! Phil

Sorry you had to change your lifestyle. We all ultimately face that and even though we're young we think of the days the amount of cruising and boating we do just won't be possible.

I have a question as you went from the water to the high Sierra in Nevada. Why such a totally opposite place? Was it just something you wanted to try or did you find being near the water to be too sensitive since you couldn't live on it? I hesitate to ask something that personal but you've dealt with a situation we all will face one day.

I ask as a I had friend who had to stop flying due to diabetes so he took a job with us having nothing to do with flying. Then a few years later he had come to grips with not flying and went to work in our aviation operations area to be close again to the area he loved.

Our thoughts have always been that when we can't do it, we'll sit on the shore watching others do it.

[sapient sue]

When we first purchased our boat we told land based friends it would be a 5 - 7 year stint (none of them knew we were sailors as we had been concentrating on our careers). Now 18 years later I will say we will never give up the boat until we are not healthy enough to sail.

In the 18 years we have had 2 stays on land - one so we could varnish below and now to re-engine. In the 18 years we have taken one "holiday". What is know as a busman's holiday to visit a different part of the world but cruising with friends aboard their boats.

So go - go now and don't look back "there is nothing better than messing just messing about in boats"

Sue

[Cheechako]

I've abandoned living aboard 3 times now..... and counting! I find it's best to just say to yourself "until it's no longer fun" or "until I want to do something else". Doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment! As soon as you move aboard your friends and family will be telling everyone "they're sailing around the world.." Then when you return home for a couple months you will spend a lot of time explaining that you never were "sailing around t he world"

[mbianka]

I try to spend five months living on board. Though my companion is more land based she does enjoy vacations chartering in various parts of the world on crewed yachts. There are many different ways to live aboard. I think a little break as others have said is good. Winter here in the northeast does not make that an option right now. Though in a year or two I may be moving the boat to warmer climes in the winter months. Then there are nights like last night when a cold front came through and I was at the eastern end of a bay with 15 miles of fetch and winds gusting to 30 knots. The seas were breaking round the boat and it was rocking like a bad angry nanny had a hold on it all night long. I knew the boat would be ok I was on a brand new mooring with a 1 1/2 inch pennant line and a mooring chain with 5 inch links. I spent most of the night securing things that were getting loose from all the rocking. I just thought this kind of sucks. I could not move about the boat without holding onto something. Then in the morning the winds started to die down and a most gorgeous sunset ended the day and I reminded myself this is why I love spending so much time on the boat. When those happy moments of awe are more numerous than the "this sucks" you are doing the right thing and it is easier to stay on board.

[SV THIRD DAY]

No matter how much us Live Aboards want to make this life style sound like a dream...the dream can feel like a nightmare on plenty of days. Now on year 7 of living aboard as a family of 4 there have been plenty of times we thought to ourselves, "that's it...we're done". But then as we think about moving back to land, we come to our senses. In the end you either love this lifestyle or you think it is as crazy. No one can talk you into or out of loving this lifestyle...it's all you baby.

[BandB]

There are thousands of variations of living aboard and then it's just one of millions of lifestyles and choices. The key is finding what makes you happy. It's not going to be someone else's lifestyle.

We watch television shows occasionally about Buying Alaska and we know we wouldn't want to live where some of the people on it do, but it's their paradise. For us it's just cold.

Buying Hawaii or Buying the Beach we understand what they're seeking.

NYC is a great example. I know people who would think a life there would be horrible. They don't want to live among 12 million people. I'm sure Tokyo and other very large cities are the same. But I also know people who couldn't ever imagine living elsewhere. To them even Chicago is like moving to the boondocks.

Also nowhere is perfect so the key, whether living aboard or otherwise, is to find a way to deal with the negatives knowing how much positive comes too. But people who move from the city to the country encounter the same. They get beauty, quiet and space. But they have to learn to plan when instead of 3 groceries and 30 restaurants within 2 miles, the nearest are 20 miles away.

[gonesail]

i found that we could either live aboard the boat or we could sail the boat on a regular basis .. but for some reason we could not do both. but hey nothing saying we won't try it again

[RTB]

Originally Posted by ricorrea2002

Close to start with our dream to spend 2 or 3 years sailng in the Carib (island hoping), I was wondering if someone in this "Confessional forum" had a similar experience and had abandoned his project to live aboard couple........either run out of money or coexistence problems or tired of living on a boat, etc.

If you actually leave the dock, and cruise, I think your odds of living aboard successfully are greater. If you look at the long time liveaboards, you'll see that they have travelled many miles over the years. Most of us don't have stuff that ties us to land. No car, no furniture in storage, nothing that ties us to any one place. For us, we've done two trips to the Bahamas, up the east coast for a few months, and back in Texas where we started. The last two years have passed very quickly. We don't miss a 2300 sq. ft. home. We don't mind walking to HEB or Publix when we need food. You don't see many over weight cruisers, because they get plenty of exercise. My wife lost 20 lbs. in two years.

If you don't have the money to cruise, why bother to try? If you get along well with your partner now, why would that change just because you are on a boat? If you don't get along with each other now, it will not improve when you are cruising.

If I was still working, or had kids going to school, I'd just as soon live in an apartment. Living aboard tied to a dock isn't all that exciting. It is hotter in the summer, colder in the winter, and can't be all that much cheaper than living in an inexpensive apt. if you consider the cost of the boat, maintenance, and insurance.

So, I say keep moving, and your chances of abandoning your dream decrease.

I just helped a friend move someone from an apartment to a house. It was quite depressing for me. No chance I'm moving back to land anytime soon!

Ralph
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/brogdon/

[BandB]

As long as it works for both of us.....

That's our commitment to anything in our lives. Those were our wedding vows even though we fully expect forever. But 50% of those who say "Till Death Does us Part" get divorced. I think the minute you say it's forever or somehow permanent you start to make it scarier. You can't possibly know how it will feel in 5 years or 10 or 20. Either it works so well you don't stop until health forces you or at some point you want a change. I'm sure at one time you thought you'd always have a home on land and that sure changed. We never anticipated living in Fort Lauderdale. People ask "where will you be five years from now?" I have a hard enough time planning tomorrow. Or where I intend to eat lunch today. Oh, we're going to eat lunch on the boat. We've been out playing in the tender. Why on the boat? Not because we have to or said we would, because we want to.

Just communicate honestly and see what happens. Right now 6 weeks at a time is our perfect time on board. One day it may be 4 weeks or may be 8 weeks. We only know today. And we didn't know that when we started. Only by experiencing it. Oh and 3 weeks at home and we're ready to go again. And plans adjust for holidays. Starting late April most of our time has been on the West Coast and we're loving it. But South Florida is still home and we love taking breaks to be there. Breaks during which we boat at least one of every three days.

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Perhaps those who abandon liviing aboard and/or cruising are disinterested in CF.

I think that's your answer right there. The folks who become disenchanted, and give up on the life, probably don't care to hang out on web forums where the main focus of discussion is the very thing that they have given up on.